I question the purpose of my existence in this world.

It is as though I am living for others instead for myself.  My time belong to others... my life belong to others. No matter how hard I tried to withdraw myself away, many things would happen that forced me back to the fact that I exist for others. I am here to take on all the hardships that brought to me by others and it is as though that I deserved it and I have no rights to complain about it.

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my troubles are nothing.  My worries are nothing.  My health is nothing.  Everything abt 'me' doesn't matter at all.  For I am here to serve others, live for others, suffer because of others.

If what she said was true, I am probably here to 赎罪. Or perhaps, that's the only reason that I can use to convince myself that my existence is purely for the sake of others.

If a person is born with the soul, and if the soul dispersed, that person will never come back.  I opt for that to happen to me.

Yes, I don't want to come back anymore.  Even if the process of disappearing into the universe is utmost miserable and painful experience.