i guess, some changes r needed in my life now. yea... i am actually wondering, when will coldness appear in my eyes etc. yea.. i wan to b cold to ppl now. wad e use for everything? wad's e use? i lost my belief.. i lost everything. i couldnt see anything anymore. i simply dun see e reason y tt tiny weeny request frm me is being rejected. i used to tink bout wad u said, i accept e logic behind it. however, tis time round, seriously... is not me being selfish anymore. is YOU! simply is u... however, it doesnt matter if u realise it or not.. let thing go back to where it started. the point where i assume that u dunno me. yes.. that's e starting pt. i was fuming wif anger last nite, and seriously dun wanna say any more word to anyone. no... not yet to the extent i wan to kill ppl, but soon i guess. however, the sadness in me simply overpower the anger. there seems to be many things that i am unhappy bout... too many. trivial matters to all of u, but, listen here, or rather, LOOK HE...
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hmm.. wad a coincidence today. i actually took e same 168 wif usha, practically, we went skool together all e way frm tampines to RP. wahaha anyway. while waiting for zhen, i actually went in W36Q and wait there. yup, empty klassroom. the silence in the room act as a melody for my mind. i can feel e pressure in my ears (lik ear blk). i was sitting there, looking outside e window, realised tt it was goin to rain. den i tot of alot of things.. realli alot of things. seems lik, i could actually tot things thru liddat. haha! den zhen came in n said sth lik, 'y u so lonely/pityful liddat?' haha...though i told her is not, but.... in e inner me, i thought to myself, 'tis isnt consider lonely compared to e inner world of mine.' haiz~ went break wif onli a few of them =.=" in fact, onli zhen n ethan. zy seems so bz. so i was lik trying to get zhen to finish her meal w/o looking at e laptop ma, so i closed e lid. too bad for her, 2 vs 1. wahaha! so when she actually wan to ...
haha!!! some ppl might find it weird y am i still online at tis time despite having lesson tml. wahaha! reason is beri simple, i am pon-ing skool tml. haha.. was telling tt to rui becoz she msg me. wahaha! she mentioned tt so fast i pon le. when i told her tis is e 2nd time, she also pengz. wahaha! but mum actually din say anything when she noe i pon-ing tml, she onli mention bout me catching up e lesson. haha! anyway, i am lik digging all those songs which i heard during my sec3 n sec4 days. yea.. 5566 first album one. wahaha!! their 2nd track gt more impact on me ba. i rmb i used to keep repeating playing tis song in my discman yrs back. den i heard tt song, i rmb e time when i went home after exam. whoa! haha! n of coz, other memories too, for eg, i went studying wif huiyun under my blk, n... erm... hehe... in fact most of e tracks in tt album brought back alot of memories la. still rmb at tt time, still gt wan quan yu le one. i always chiong home juz to watch it.. oh yea oh yea.. i...
haha! recently i helped weiwei in his compo, which muz haf tis 4 themes - sex, religion, royalty and mystery. wahaha!! i luv tis kinda of compo manz! is so lit to me. wahaha! it actually trigger ur brain and imagination can RUN WILD! whoaaaaaa i love it! wahaha... we actually haf a great laugh together last nite. muahaha! rite, weiwei? wahaha. n he asked me, 'wad haf u been tinking for e past few yrs, now so bian tai.' wahaha!!!!!!! NOW u KNOW! lolx! actually, hu ask u start tis kinda of plot seh! at least, i express it out, not lik someone. wahaha!!!! but fun ah, he showed me his final product, whoa... his english power lehz. better den mine... wahaha.. n he actually used tt idea. muahaha!! weiwei, if u see tis post, rmb hor... tell me mdm saleha's reaction. wahaha!!!!!! anyway.. i saw tis quiz frm weiwei's blog. haha.. You scored as Past . Your depression is caused by your past. Something happened that you wish you could forget, but you can't. You think about it a...
btw.. i forgt to include one thing. my faci today realli beri lame! wahaha.. becoz, beginning we already told her to extend e RJ dateline. so when skool ending, after she told us she opened e rj. she said... 'from tis moment onwards, my ears turn deaf' muahaha!!! becoz, she noe we will argue wif her tt issue again. but in e end, she lost! muahaha!!!
today klass was kinda of... hmm. i dunno how to say. i lik tis klass, becoz they r noisy. haha!!!! damn cute la, them. haha! we had fun bullying nicholas anyway. he din get his teh-peng for consecutive two days. MUAHAHAHA!!! shag sia! wahahaha! anyway, there's an email bout material sci seminar...n guess wad, they made use of nicholas's face. muahaha!!! n hweeling n them were so bad, hahaa.. they said, 'initially we wan to go one, however we saw they use ur face, dun go liao la.' muahaha!!! but we meant it for a joke la. wahaha! anyway, after skool, met up wif shahid. wahaha.. initially i dun wan go watch movie wif them one... in e end, zhen made e decision for me. haha! so i went la... but in e end, we din watch da vinci code, we watched x-men instead. n hor.. =.=" we sat in e first front row... so miserable. k ba.. more fortunate den those ppl infront. haha!! is lik so funny k! becoz, infront of us tt row, gt two RP students la. n is lik.. gt one couple came in...
starting, i would lik to say, TODAY SO SHIOK!! we finish our work by 11am already. haha!!! n hor... michelle n i were in 5L (empty klassroom w/o any light on) n we scared usha. wahaha! oh yea.. i met faathir at 168 bus stop again!...lastly, i received e msg saying tt ethan goin to check out lao da's gift. haha!! oh yea... lao da's kena deceived by me juz now. wahaha, he called me 'blur', however, he dunno e one being blur is him! *evil laugh* =X anyway, those ppl din come today, so today, i went back kinda early wor. becoz is raining heavily seh, so, michelle, usha, clara n me took cab to cwp. by tt time already not tt heavy liao. tt uncle seems to b acting blur to me. he even asked us, 'how to go mrt station?' =.=" he realli act until kinda fake seh. so i told him, 'turn right U-turn'... idiot, he go turn right, but nv U-turn, den go one big round. until i lik nearly say 'uncle, let me control e steer wheel.. i shall drive =.=" ' is li...
at tis moment, i dun feel that there is any need for song, n i could feel e swelling of sadness in me. yup.. e silence ard me is the music tt i am listening to right now. i dun really haf e mood to blog bout wad happen today. but.. i guess, tis will b e post tt i gonna express my thought n feeling again ba. yea.. juz now after skool, two of my frens become weird weird de.. another one i noe wad happen, as for e other one.. i seriously haf no idea. juz feel tt, i am realli worried for e both of them AT E SAME TIME. however, i could feel tt i worry more for e another, as she seems to need my shoulder. so. yea.. so as we walked to cwp, he walked alone in front, i haf no idea whether to go forward, or remain right at e back. i realised e other two of them decided to leave him alone, so i tot perhaps is best to let him be. until further part, we saw sth.... at tt instant, i realli gt e strong urge to run forward.. u c?! but.. i din .... at tis pt of time, i realli regretted... regretted gr...
hmm! haha!! meet up wif liwee n jim juz now during e 2nd breakout. went to play reversi wif jim juz now. haha!! frm e beginning, liwee kept saying tt, ' i tink u will die even faster den me' and 'i tink u will die a even more horrible death den'. n viola!!!!!!!!! SHE IS WRONG! liwee.. see tis, U R WRONG! wahaha k.. i lost to jim! however, i left 6 checkers... instead of having 5 checkers left lik someone. wahahah!! ah-ah.. i noe u will b tinking, onli 1 checker more.. hey! but tt's e fact tt i haf more checker den u leh!! wahahah~!~!~ so after tt, we played..tt... erm.. i forgt wad's tt name. last time in jyss also gt one.. den can rent n play... i still rmb, i played wif kenny soo n some other band members during e break b/w after skool n before band start. wahaha! nostalgic! wahaha!~!~ anyway.. i discovered sth.. i was shocked. is bout sth happen during e ghost trail one.. i din realise e person was juz ard me all along for tis few wks? wahaha.. if she din men...
hmm... shld i say, i haf no mood to go to skool tml? or shld i say i am trying to escape? surprisingly, i am given alot of time to b alone in e room today (my ah ma stayed most of her time in e kitchen during e afternoon). so i started tinking alot. yea... 'understanding one another'. i couldnt express tt sadness in me right now... basically becoz, frens juz dun understand u, yea.. frens for YRS dun even understand tt simple pt of urs. wad am i in their eyes??? yea... they design tt personality of me, n kept it in their eyes. however, TT ISNT E REAL ME! i seriously dun lik tis feeling.. realli. i feel so silly mentioning bout tis kinda of thing here. silly, becoz wad right do i haf to ask them to understand me!? frankly speaking, i dun even tink tt i understand myself either.... however... e thought tt even ur frens since sec1 or even earlier, dun even understand u? when i asked them bout my character n personality, all they gave me is juz those 'surface' comments? haiz...
hmm.. juz now was having a chat wif char, hearing her comments on some issue. char, u noe wad? i realli enjoy chatting wif u, especially when u mention some heart-to-heart thing to me.. wahaha~ becoz, i realised, i do reasoning most wif u. wahaha~ perhaps not realli reasoning ba, i always say those things to u tt i wont normally say.. juz kinda of get serious suddenly. haha.. hope u see tis! wahaha.. anyway, i saw ur blog, is TRUE! bout other ppl reading ur blog even if u din gif e url to. wahaha.... n i noe hu r those ppl reading my blog now.. muahaha!~ nahz.. is ok.. read all u wan. wahaha~~ anyway... as i was saying, i was chatting wif char juz now. when she mentioned to me tt she's afraid tt she will return herself to e past. i mean, character wise all tis... haha.. tis really brought me back of wad kel said to me in e past. tt was during 2nd sem, yup, when i was in PL. i realised tt i am changing back to how i was in sec skool to. n i was telling him... at tt period of time, i...
weird!!!! wenjie's at home =.=" i tot he shld b back in malaysia today =.=" oh well. =.=" anyway... let's tok abit bout ytd ba. after skool, went to play pool wif some of them. n i learned of a way to play a 3-persons pool.. wahaha.. so lame la.. yet beri fun. both of them ganged up at first to 'kill' me... but in e end, shun wei n me ganged up against jim. muahaha~~ it was fun ytd! muahaha!~ after tt, when we were bout to leave hor... those arcade-addicts 'brought' us into e arcade. muahaha~~ saw them play.. so funny. den zhen went to play daytona wif jim le... den mich wan to play one of e game ma... den she already insert credit.. n she asked me to help her. so i did... however, i dunno HIT WHERE !!!!!!!!!! den alot all miss.. den is lik, mich told me 'dun miss.. will die one!!!' muahaha!~ but i seriously dunno where to hit, so i kept asking.. den ethan go help me hit 3 sides, den finally found e spot. wahaha! so embarrassing. wahaha!~~...
weird dream i had last nite... weird.. realli weird. i dreamt tt i was lik escaping??? den hanging out wif frens??? den i met him at my pri skool canteen (tt look alike ba)?? e dream feel so realistic lehh.. i saw him, n i walked past him for so long, yet, i din look at him straight, not even a hi.... in fact, pretending tt i dunno him... when i jolly well noe tt he was staring at me, waiting for me to acknowledge him. wahaha~ until when he left, den i realised myself staring at e empty air. haha.. i realli getting to wonder wad does tis dream means seh. e purpose of me listing tis part down is actually trying to find ways to explain y i react liddat. avoidance? no? i dun realli tink so?? perhaps it also symbolise tt, each of us went our own ways le... we were even seated at e different row of table, seem lik we juz 'walked' past each other in e life path. haha. i dunno la... weird dream, juz lik i said. i juz noe tt, there's sth more to meet e eyes in tt dream. my sub-con...
suddenly rmb yun telling tt she was goin to learn violin. n i rmb our conversation ytd.. n guess wad, i actually laughed out. basically is not becoz knowing her learning violin, but it actually brought back memories. haha... i rmb there was once an idiot, imitating e way a violinist play his violin, n he did it in a much more exaggerating way. haha... tt's so funny. wahaha... i am not goin to skool tml... when i told my ah ma bout tt... she was lik asking me wad's wrong... den i juz ignore her. becoz i tot tt she noe tt is becoz i not feeling well ma... n i tot she will go back to slp after a few mins. however, she sat there looking down for quite long..until i find it weird n ask her 'wad thing?' .. den she lik... haiz.. i dunno la.. i realli cant show concern la.. i mean.. haiz... den she say tt 'i noe sth is beri wrong wif u...' .... say until as if she noe tt sth is lik troubling me recently??? haiz.. i dunno. i am shocked.. realli... however, overjoyed at e...
is finally settled! omg.. i struggled for days sia! zzz.... i wasnt sad at all.. dunno y also. perhaps i am realli prepared... thanx ah to sumone out there. muahaha~~~ there is not even a tingling feeling of sadness, or even e urge to cry seh. in fact.. i am happy!! i am overjoyed!!! i did not lose a fren in e end... in fact, i gain one more fren... believe it or not, is up to u. muahaha!~!~!~ e most overjoy thing is..... muahaha.. i gain one more fren... TO LET ME BULLY LE... muahaha... *evil* realli happy.... but den... i now feel miserable... realli miserable......... BECOZ... I AM ILL NOW!!!!! (did i got u for tt? muahaha)... dun worry bout me, i am alrite wif tt issue, but now i am not alrite becoz i am having, cough + flu + fever right now. so idiotic.... haiz!~!~!~ stand up, den feel dizzy le... feel heated up seh... u see la.. cold n hot together.. later bath also dunno use warm or cold water le =.=" oops. haha~!~!~ most prob not goin to skool tml le.... becoz, i noe i nee...
sad.. i went skool today! planning to leave during e 2nd breakout, however, i listen to weifen n e rest lor... stay until 3rd meeting, den we present first, den i go lor. but den hor, when e time get nearer to 2pm... e more stupid i feel =.=" i shld haf left!!!!!!! simply becoz, since i goin to stay until then, y not i juz stay for e whole day instead =.=" so i was lik coughing, sneezing n sniffing e whole day long. irritating!!! i find myself irritating, needless to say, my klassmates surely do also. at tis moment, one side of my nose is blked. haiz.. i wan to die la! after skool, went to wanzhen's klass... weird leh she..... dunno y she always wan me to tok to yongquan de. =.=" i noe she meant well la... however, no topic.. so weird to start tokin to him seh after lik... 5yrs of lost contact??? so zhen was playing cs... den i was there, scribbling on e piece of paper.. write until i sianz lor... hehe.. becoz, i dunno how to write e words le. =X it might b surprisin...
gosh!!!!! i am feeling realli terrible now. haiz! i hate having flu!! AHHH!!! tis morning when i woke up, actually i dun feel lik goin skool one.. however, is all becoz of tt stupid UT i went! clara din come today! sianz!! my team onli 3 ppl, however we combined wif carney's team after tt.. hence, having 6 ppl. haha! today lesson still ok ba.. i agar understand... material sci is DRIVING ME CRAZY... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! anyway.. tis morning, i tot of queueing up for 969 one, den suddenly i saw hweeming n sj infront.. so i went there... den e 2nd ger in e queue rite, kept staring at me. so i told hweeming bout tt, n she told me, 'she also everytime cut one!' wahaha!~ so i was tinking, let her stare as much as she wans lo.... however!! I AM IRRITATED BY TT STARE EVENTUALLY! so..... i stared straight into her eyes... n guess wad, is juz 2secs, she turned away. alamak... pls la.. at least hold it there for 10secs ma! onli 2secs nia, den look away, wan to stare at ppl, also scar...
year of dog clash wif dragon... perhap rabbit too. haha!~ funny enuff. haha!! seeing those frens ard me facing prob... cant help feel helpless. how i wish i haf magic.. so i can help them wif their probs seh. haiz~!!~ however, dunno y, whenever now i listen to their probs, i actually can let down my own probs seh.. hmm.. not bad. wahaha... anyway... can u believe tis? now is lik mid may, n i actually still couldnt recognise wenjie's face le. wahahaa!!!!actually is possible.. becoz, i simply dun even tok to him, nor face him. wahaha!~!~ i guess tis is realli a disadvantage... becoz, wad if one day juz a stranger came into my hse, perhap a thief, i will actually mistake him as wenjie. OMG! tt's scary. reason y i brought tis up is becoz, he juz came back.. n .... i was lik tinking to myself. erm... is tt him? y he look so differently =.=" last time he lik look so small.. but now lik so big??? hairstyle also different?? WEIRD... scary...haha anyway.. nth much la... i am juz ti...
hmm.. i did alot of tests recently.. but i picked tis two.. haha.. i realli agree at e last sentence there.. haha perhaps... e front part quite true ba. haha.. i believe tt no one tink tt i am vulnerable. haha!!! even if i said tt, i am weak.. realli weak.. no one will believe also. so sad. wahahaa!~!~ so tt's all
i am afraid. realli, realli very afraid. haiz. i was wif sj tis afternoon, and we went to watch 'voice'. kinda funny for sum part, but i find some part rather 'painful', n is more of those shocking kind... not horror la... n is actually quite sad also. haha! however, i din cry tis time. haha.. oops.. now ppl noe i DO cry while watching movies. haha!~ perhaps, tis time round, no more tears le ba. haha!~!~ or... haha.. nvm.. we went fareast after tt also, n since den, i din speak much le, even sj also tot i buay song her. haha.. nahz.. not her fault at all, is juz tt, i dun wish to speak... firstly, becoz my throat feel weird, secondly... emo-ing ba. haiz.. i suddenly felt cold sweat at fareast juz now. u might b tinking y ba. haha... sj n i were lik toking bout e past.. den tok bout him, yea.. e prev him. n she also mention tt how deep i fell into tt 'hole' in e past. haha!~!~ even huiyun said tt i will nv noe that i may b tt chang qing based frm e past, when i t...
You were saying? [Patricia and John Hawkhead] 'i love you' can you repeat that, a thought just caught me, not much of a thought, just enough to lose your words in a confusion of background music filtered through a shopping arcade. 'i love you' Pardon, God these people! 1lb of sugar butter greens bread potatoes pepper cooking oil chicken You were saying 'Nothing, it's not important' Suit yourself. haha...first time seeing myself posting a poem here. hehe... nahz.. i was juz looking thru my lit poem bk when i rmb there was one poem lik tis. haha!! when reading it, actually rmb vividly the lesson on it.. haha.. kinda funny actually. haha~ enjoy!
she's right.. haiz.. recently realli alot of things happen to each individual of us. thanx, u reminded me and i see it. from there, i actually link out some complicated relationship... haha.. sumhow or rather, i find it rather interesting. becoz tis feeling is lik so special... i dunno how to put it in words also (also becoz of sum restriction), is juz lik... we r juz a small grp of clique, yet things r complicated inside, yet simple in e outer lvl. haha!~!~ hopefully is lik wad huiyun said ba, everything will b over soon. anyway! tml goin out for a date. yea... wahahah!~!~ i go dating le!!! wahaha... i finally goin dating AGAIN wif ......... ....................... *drum rolling* *drum rolling* SHIJUAN !!!!!!!!!! muahaha!!!! did i fool u? wahahah!~~!!~ nahz... is becoz quite long din go out one-on-one wif her le... haha!!! yes yes! i wanna watch 'voice' yesyes!!! haha! hopefully tml i can throw aside all e things which i had been tinking recently... let me return to e past...
ahh... stupid weather. e humidity!!! hmm... humidity is not yet saturated... perhaps is onli 80% saturated =.=" haha.. nahz.. i juz kidding.. not tt exaggarating ba. haha!~!!~ anyway.. i heard frm rui tt rp students realli hard to get into spore university seh. sianz!~~~ when i told my teammates bout tt, they said tt rp is trying to gt one direct admission (sth liddat) for material sci students. YIPEEE~~ but sad leh... haf to go into material sci field =.=" i dun wan seh.. haiz~!~!~ onli today den i realised that, yanfen n hweeling kinda close to samuel seh. haha!~!~!~ rui's right la... today den i see his non-serious face. haha~~~first time see hweeling so violent n so fierce.. summore towards samuel. haha!!~ funny la~!!~!~ perhaps getting e heros of condor frm samuel during nxt lesson.. hehe... becoz gt liu yi fei!!! yea.. tt ger whom act as ling er in xian jian qi xia zhuan. she so cute!! muahaha~!~! weird ah... i prefer looking at gers den guys... haha!!~!~ nahz... bo...
hmm 2 posts in a day ah. recently i had been tinking lots too... in fact, i wasnt feel any better any way now... yet last nite, i seriously gt into a bad mood after tt incident. fine la... misunderstanding onli... den also my fault tt my msn lag lor. k lor... my fault, my fault. wadeva la... no use probing over trivial matter liddat... lik wad i said before in e past also, if small things can change friendship, den tis isnt friendship right from e start. haha... anyway, zhen also said e same thing in e past to me too.. muahaha~ kinda of universal ah? wahaha... however, i am feeling better today... but .... curiosity realli can kill sia! haha.. anyway.. recently haf been tinking alot bout e past... but i tot back alot today la. bout erm... haha... nahz... is not yu qing wei liao, juz miss those days la. compare e past to now.... is realli a big diff. one whom i was once beri close to, another one is lik... not close... but better den stranger one. big diff ah? no? haha.. but at least to...
woke up late tis morning, real late =.=" i jumped out of my bed when i saw e colour outside of my window, is lik golden la =.=" look at e time, it was already 650 when i was supposed to wake up at 630 =.=" den i sianz liao... was lik hesitating whether to go skool not... today's wednesday lEH!!!!!!!! sianz!!!!!!!!!!! juz becoz of tt PP talk.. cannot wake up late. =.=" MY SLEEPING HRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *gone crazy* however, i still decided to go to skool instead. *pengz* tis time round, i took 168 again.. since after e first day of skool. wahaha! i juz reached e bus stop, n e bus came.. n it was a double-deck.. wahhaa... n hor.. u noe hor... kinda empty lehh... lik not many ppl one lor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i still manage to get a seat. oh yea.. by tt time it was lik 724am liddat =.=" so yup.. i tot i was goin to b late, or mayb juz nice 830 den reach lor.. becoz e first day of skool.. AHHH... HORRIBLE! haha! den kinda funny la... when e bus reaching ...
i gonna upload 3 lyrics today. adapted frm KO one OST. first one up, which can actually describe my feeling most is, bao hu se - su yi cheng nice rite? haiz...let me juz b a weakling in tis area ba.. haiz second one is yi ge ren liu lang - fei lun hai.... i lik some part of it seh... lastly is gu dan xing shi ... sumhow it also convey my words ba... but is realli... haiz... i dunno...
i did tis test quite sometime ago... n i find tt some of it kinda true leh... haha.. since my blog cannot put chi character, hence i print shot le... i box up those which i tink is true to me de ... so... mayb sum other might tink not liddat, or they might tink beri true of me.. haha... who noes. haha!
i just reached home at ard 1223am. wahaha... ytd, i went out wif some of them to play pool, n juz now, i did e same thing again! wahaha. mad ya? actually.. i am tired now! nvm.. try to type ba... sekali essay again?!?!? =x so i was late today actually... i went to buy my top up card... WHOA... first time seh, i finished e credit in juz one wk. =.=" so i went to e bus stop la... i was lik replying shihui's msg when sumone actually juz stood right beside me ... is lik... no one will stand liddat beside u one ma.. so, i looked up. n TO MY HORROR (nahz... juz kidding. =X), khiam cheong was beside me. wahaha! he asked me where am i heading, so, i told him inter. n i could see tt he was lik.. '?_?' becoz i juz purposely din board one bus which lead me to inter. wahaha!!!! he also questioned me on tt la. den i gave him e reason of having tt no. bus for decade, i choose to tk another no. bus.... his eyes immediately become lik laoda's la.. =.= but he damn lame LA!! omg!!! ...
just to share sth here. feeling kinda down since last nite, n while i was browsing thru my picture folder, i found one pic which was sent to me by serene in e past. haha... surprisingly, i knew tt i was smiling. haha... so cute la... so decided to share it here. cute rite? haha~~!~!~ up nxt is e pic of two paper boats on e 'river' of singapore (frankly speaking i dunno wad's tt 'river' called). haha.. yea.. e one which zhen n me wrote sth on, on my bday. haha haha.. i forgt which one is mine already sia. haha!~~~! up nxt our grp photo, but tis time round dun haf zy n jim le... haiz..i choose tis pic becoz is better, as in no one kena cut out frm tis pic. haha!!~! lastly... e scenario... yup.. walking on e bridge tt is opp fullerton hotel, realli feel great. haha... tt's all~~~
one of e ost frm zhong ji yi ban (KO one) - bao hu se. i realli lik e lyrics alot.. is lik... so close to me, kinda speak wadeva i wanna say n how i felt. is lik.. e scenario seems to b happening soon? i dunno.. i juz gt tt kinda of feeling... sumone mentioned tt i had changed, frm e first time he/she saw me until now, may it b mentality or wadeva... haha. n wad i told him/her was, 'u guys juz dunno me well'. yea.. indeed, in e past i was liddat.. well, at least since yr1 beginning ba. haha... slowly ba if u wan, u might see e real me one day... haha!~!~ as for now, juz haf to try to b happy... i understand e meaning of, u haf to live ur life no matter happy or sad, y not choose to live it in a happy way? yea.. i did tt.. but however... tt kinda of happiness doesnt seem genuiness to me... haha... wadeva it is.. haha.. i am realli worn out le...i am confused... realli. i dunno wad i shld do le... i dunno y... i hate to haf feeling right at tis moment! any types of emotions, any ...