5/2 Introspect - Joe Bongiorno

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I'm currently not feeling so good.

挫败感。。。阻力。。。

I just can't seem to be able to reorganise my thoughts in a more systemic way. =(

Everything seemed so wrong.

眼前的路看起来没什么阻挠，可是当我踏出第一步后，眼前就出现了很多石头。

打从第一天开始，问题就不断地出现。Some people who know about this, will know how relunctant I was to spend THAT sum of money on something which WILL NOT guarantee any return by the end of the day; Especially during this period when I am trying to save as much money as I could. Things werent like what people told me. =(((

And I just made a stupid mistake just now which brought in MORE problems for myself to vex over it. =(((

With all these 'accidents' surfacing, it made me think that, maybe I had made the wrong choice from the very start. All these could be giving me a warning that, I WON'T get what I want, why don't I give up before I get deeply hurt and disappointed.

Even so, I told myself to stay optimistic. I should think that all these problems are something I have to undergo before I achieve my success/something I want. 这就是所谓的‘苦尽甘来’。Right? I know you guys will agree with this.

However, I dont really feel it that way. Or rather, I felt that I am just trying to deceive myself.

像我这种人，自信心来得快、去的也快。现在的我就像是一个泄了气的气球，孤零零的瘫躺在木质的板凳上。就算身边的草有多绿、天空有多蓝、空气有多清爽，这些我都看不进眼里，也感受不到。

“难道，就这样了吗？”

“我希望事实就和我的乐观想法一样，可以吗？”



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