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Showing posts from 2011

29/8 新還珠格格 片中插曲 "哪裡的風 (配樂)"

今天听着这首歌,突然觉得不太开心。这几个星期都是吧!我知道我为什么不开心,可是我不明白为什么。 当我站在巴士里,听着这首歌,我突然对自己说:‘今晚到公园走走吧。。(可是我知道我很懒惰)。。你真的需要透透气,或发发情绪。’ ‘不然找朋友出来吧。’ 可又担心出来后,大家都说些不太开心的话题。 还是算了吧。 然后想到:‘不如一个人到公园吧!还是一个人在房里,关着灯,听着音乐,看着外面的天空。就静静的一个人吧。。’ 想着想着,突然这一幕好像出现在眼前。不夸张,不骗你。这就真的就是 ‘想得入神’。 ‘啊~可是今天老妈早回家,这计划还是泡汤了。’ 。。。结果,我更难过了。 天大地大,为什么就没有一个地方是真正的属于我一个人的?一个永远都不会有人来打扰我的? 突然觉得离他们好远。。好远。。。既熟悉又陌生。为什么就这么突然? 两个不同世界的人就像是两条平行线,永远都不会有交叉点。当你站在两条平行线的中间遥望着另一端,它们看似总有交叉点,但也只是错觉而已。 认清自己的世界吧~ 今天我到了Bedok Reservoir,其实是有想过在那里待一下子。也想过,不如就从那里走路回家吧。可是,我还是算了。这样做的话,我想心情应该会更糟。 突然好怀念以前的生活。 真的。。。好怀念。

10/6 Yasuko Kyoda - Aqua

Yasuko Kyoda - Aqua After so many years, we finally had the class gathering. Everything feels so right and everyone are catching up with each other. 扫过每个人都没见他的踪影,所以我问:“他呢?没来?” 这一刻全场鸦雀无声。大家就用一种奇怪的眼光看着我,回答的人的声音也好像提高了八度,狐疑的似问似答:“他在几年前已经死了,难道。。。你不知道?” 那一刻,我僵住了。开玩笑的吧?我听错了吧? “...Huh...? 真的?。。。假的?” 开玩笑的。一定是。骗人的。 “真的。” 好残酷的回答。 一股气涌上来。“为什么没人告诉我?!为什么不通知我?!!” 我觉得好难过,好像呼吸不过来。好气。到底是怎么一回事? 大家你看我,我看你。“我们以为你不来他的丧礼,是因为还在生他的气。” 有病! 根本就没人告诉我!!! 忽然觉得好‘空’,好突然,脑子里一片空白。没办法接受。僵住了。 我感觉到时间好像在这一刻停住了。 在我还没来得及发现自己在干嘛时,我已经哭了。痛哭的那种。觉得好痛哦。 我知道我是在做梦。可是,还是好痛。 醒来后第一件对自己说的就是:“幸好,是梦。” I dont know why. But I have been dreaming of people around me died. Sigh. I wonder if it really happens in real life...... how would it be. I didnt expect myself to feel this way. It is like a 演习. From here, I know how I will feel and react. But Pls... pls... pls dont let it happen. Pls dont.

4/6 Pray - Justin Bieber (Girl Version)

Pray - Justin Bieber (Girl Version) I am tired and seriously, I really 痛恨这世界的虚伪!Why?! I can never hide my emotions, neither can I be friendly to someone who I really detest. They can speak bad about someone behind their back and smile at him/her the next moment. What's wrong with this world?! It is tiring to look for people you can trust in this world. One of my colleagues commented to me once, "I dont know who I can trust." Indeed. It was so much easier to trust people around us when we were much younger. Because everyone wasnt 'contaminated' by this reality world made filthy by fakers. When I was a kid, I cant wait to become an adult. Because I can finally get away from school, the endless homework, get to watch tv till late night without nagging from my mum. Now that I have grown up, I wish that I could turn back the time to seek for the simplicity in people. I know I cant. I know that I am already 'contaminated'. I can have a thousand reasons...

21/5 鄭融 - 成就感

鄭融 - 成就感 大家都说:“要人对你好,你就要先付出。”, No one is obliged to be good to you , taking people for granted . 不要老是要求人,其他人没有必要满足你。 话说得没有错。 说真的,我觉得大家都在迁就我。我是知道的,是高兴的,是感动的。我总是得到我要的,可是永远都不是我就想要的。 你说我自私,说我不讲理,但绝不能说我从不迁就。 我 最想要去的地方, 最想做的事, 最想吃的东西, 最想玩的东西, 因为你们的反对, 因为我知道你们老是迁就我, 所以为了让你们开心 所以我让步了。 我不去我最想去的地方, 我不去做我的最想做的东西, 我不去吃我最想吃的东西, 我不去玩我最想玩的东西。 有时候,我得不到我要的,是因为大家对价钱的问题。 所以我为了得到我最想要的,我愿意付的比大家多, 甚至愿意把一切都付了, 可是 为什么 为什么你们还是不愿意 为什么 就是不能让我这一次 让了我这么多次 可是我得到的, 却永远,永远不是我最想要的。 难道 我就没让过吗? 难道 你们都不知道吗? 有一些事,一些地方, 我想要做,想要去 已经好几年 不是一年,不是两年,而是至少四年 每一次都被拒绝 我忍 我让 就这样过了这么多年 当我真的不能再忍时 我发难 我就在你们眼里变得无理取闹 。 。 。 。 。 我 还有什么话好说 不想说了 更不想解释 因为解释 没人能理解 大家只会想,不能 ‘这样’,就 ‘那样’ 吧。为什么要这么执着? 对呀,我就 ‘那样’ 了这么多年。 就这样继续下去吧 到死的那一天,我都没办法 ‘这样’。 如果可以 我愿意失去所有我得到的 ‘想要的’ 一切 来换取我 ‘最想要的’ 一切。 你知道 ‘最想要’ 和 ‘想要’ 的分别吗?

27/3 木結他獨奏 張智霖 究竟海有幾深 (魚躍在花見 主題曲)

木結他獨奏 張智霖 究竟海有幾深 (魚躍在花見 主題曲) I am back, for a short while. Sigh. From 14 July till now, it has been about 9 months. 9 colleagues left, and Friday marked the 10th. Many changes took place at work and it was just too drastic for anyone to absorb at once. Within my group, which has been labelled 'harmonious' since the first day I joined, is no longer in that way. Wks ago, two of them had argument and it ended up in facebook. It became open to all and both were in cold war in office with another of my innocent colleague having to be their messenger. =( This week was another two colleagues' turn. SIGH!!! Some of them commented that our group had changed. In the past, there is little or no argument among the group. But every now and then, everyone could see and hear those arguments among us going around in office and even in facebook. Sigh. Another 2 colleagues had tendered and their last day is in April. Another one has got her letter ready. The rest are all looking for new jobs...