6/8 我记得我爱过（钢琴版）

我记得我爱过（钢琴版）

When your buddy appeared ok, but you know she is not, and that she is just trying her very best to endure everything.... yet you couldnt do anything... it is really........

I was surfing FB in the office on Tue and a bad news appeared right in front of my eyes. I went into total shocking state and kept reading Yan Ching's shout out again and again!

I went down to her mum's funeral straight after work last night. When I reached, it was actually the chanting session. I saw her and her sis (and a few people more) were chanting along with the monks, doing all the kneeling and praying.

Then, I saw her mum's photo and I thought to myself, I finally rmb how she looked after all these yrs. The images of her coming to fetch/bringing Yan Ching & Yan Min to school came back fresh in my mind. I remembered that I always called her 'Auntie' and she would return me with her smile. Sometimes, my mum would have those short chit-chat session with her. Typical things that parents do. It has been that way since I was in K2 until we totally lost touch with her after I graduated from pri school (though I still keep in touch with Yan Ching).

When my thoughts reached here.... and when my eyes happened to land on Yan Ching and her sis, I just have the urge to cry. I saw Yan Min with her red eyes and nose while Yan Ching was trying very hard to control herself. Occasionally Yan Ching would smile at me when she happened to look at my direction. That just made it hurts more.

There were quite a no. of people, but they appeared to be from a buddhist association. What really pissed me off was when they actually could still laugh and chat loudly with ocassionally 'shh-ing' from their own people. This is what I really hate to see in a funeral. I know, no one will like it. Then I saw a man with great hospitality. He looked like Yan Ching's dad, but I was unsure. (I had seen her dad picking her up in van back in those days.) I didnt dare to make my move until Yan Ching showed me to him.

After chanting session, Yan Ching came to me. Sigh.... I looked her... I really dont know what to say. She was trying so hard to endure all the pain and swallow her tears. Till now I could still rmb one part of our conversation that nearly made me break into tears.

Her: Long time no see... we finally met each other after so long. (actually it was just 5yrs *sad face)

Me: (I felt as though something hard just hit my heart. I turned and looked at Auntie's pic and back to her) Ya.... but definitely not under such situation....

It felt so 讽刺.

She held my hand and brought me to Auntie's altar. You know, that holding-hands moment reminded me of those K2 days when we always used to do it. But, those were the happy moment... this time round, I really feel that holding her hand tightly is one of the way that I can support her (I can sense that need from her too).

...... 看见她这样。。。我真的感到好心酸。

=(

Auntie, pls RIP. =')

我记得我爱过（钢琴版）




秋雨之福（钢琴版）




Final Fantasy X - Sad Violin